Introvert versus extravert

My brother sent me a link to an interesting article on the needs and definitions of extraverts and introverts. I am aware that such definitions seem to vary and change with popular psychological trend, or certainly have in the 15 years since I first heard the terms.

I always used to think I was an extravert, but of late I have been wondering if actually I'm a very sociable introvert. I used to love going out and dancing, but I've become aware that I loved most dancing on my own, big smile on my face, absorbed in the music, with friends around me that I did not have to interact with other than to smile, occasionally hug and very occasionally talk to. I also loved running and exercising with friends, where you have company but don't always need to chat. I prefer one-to-one more than groups, although sometimes I adore the group energy and am fascinated by the dynamics. I also prefer meeting in peaceful places, like cafes.

I've always disliked superficial chit chat and others around me are astounded at what personal and interesting information I manage to glean from those I meet. I am very sociable and confident with others, but I do not like too much stimulation. I also do not like company for company's sake. I am choosy about who I spend time with.

Sometimes I find background music physically and mentally stressful. The complexity of sound and background 'noise' feels too much to take in. I long to have silence, but when you share your space with someone who craves sound and noise, it can be hard to explain that you are 'actively listening to the silence'!  After a period of socialising I often feel tired. I crave down time and peace. I seek my own solitude. Once I come out of needing my own space, I am very open to contact, physical and mental, often much more so than others. Perhaps, more so than others who are less good at getting their own space and time-out or realising when they need it. This is something I have learned to be very good at, so that I can enjoy the social time that I love so very much.

I wonder now, looking back, whether we can change or move up and down this spectrum, or whether, when I was younger, I was simply less aware of my needs. Who knows? Whatever, it is an interesting issue and if it helps to raise awareness, tolerance and acceptance of difference, then I am all for the debate!

Is there a real you?

Happened across this fascinating talk about whether there is a real 'you', that is the essence of yourself, fixed, unchanging. The speaker suggests not.

He suggests instead that we should not think of ourselves as 'things' that do not change, but as 'processes' that are in constant flux, like a waterfall, that clearly is, but is also clearly never the same.

I wanted to share it with you, so here it is: Julian Baggini on TED

It's the little things

There's something about Amelie that touches me and warms the cockles of my heart every time I watch it. I know what it is now.

It's because in order for the film to have been made, there must be someone else in the world who thinks like I do, who loves like I do and who sees the world like I do. That is a beautiful feeling. I feel happy that someone else is as lucky as I am. I hope that some day everyone in the world feels love like I do, sees the beauty in the small and seemingly insignificant things in the world and knows that life is precious and wonderful.

Sending love out to you all.

How to make the future a good one

Just watched a video on TED. It's quite possibly the most inspiring video I have seen for a long time and it made me quite choked up, as well as making me laugh out loud many times.

It's about how education kills creativity, and it's about how essential creativity is for our futures and the future of our children - the future in which our children will be living. It choked me up because although some very wonderful teachers and adults positively encouraged me (especially my old English teacher, Mrs McDonnell), most killed me inside through moulding me into their vision of what the world needed. Not their fault and I am grateful for what they taught me - I am just sad about the part of me that was ignored, or at least, not watered and fed.

In the last few years my creativity has been released, somehow, and is growing stronger and more resilient. It makes me feel alive, eyes wide open and fully appreciative of everything in my world, from those I love, to a little cat crossing my path, to the shape of a puddle.

Anyway, I wanted to share this video by Ken Robinson with you, because it had a huge impact on me.

Particularly look out for his stories about the little girl drawing God, his son's nativity play and the man in the forest. They made me laugh so much. Click here.

Love to all.

Aymara time

A friend shared this link with me on how the Aymara people of South America perceive time.

They see the past in front of themselves, because it is known and they can see it; and the future behind them, because it has not yet happened and they know and can see nothing of it. I found this concept fascinating. Some of the elder Aymarans, so the article reports, refuse to even discuss the future, because nothing sensible can be said about it.

The interesting thing is, the article also points out ambiguities of direction of time in the English language too - where we might say that we have arrived ahead of time (that is, earlier than we expected), where it kind of sounds like time is somehow moving backwards and we see ourselves as moving through time. Similarly with 'the meeting was moved forward a day from Wednesday'. Grammatically, it appears to be correct to understand this as Tuesday - a day ahead of time; or Thursday, where the meeting itself is moved forwards into the future by a day.

It's great to know that it's not just me that gets confused by the direction of time. I really think we should just give up on this linear concept anyway. It's just too confusing!

Here's the link again, if you didn't notice it earlier on the page: Aymara perception of time

Time

Occasionally, especially after meditation, time does funny things. Today, when I was looking at my analogue clock, it seemed as if the second hand was going the wrong way and very slowly at that. I did a double take and realised it was not - this double take was accompanied by a kind of shift, where the second hand did a skip and a jump, and maybe a wobble too. The thing is, I am not sure if it was actually going anticlockwise (and I think not), or whether for some reason my mind expected it to be going anticlockwise, so clockwise suddenly seemed rather wrong.

I love it when time perception does funny things and I am curious as to whether this ever happens to anyone else.