Sutton Coldfield

Swimming pool :-)

Two birds

For Mama!

Grosvenor Park

Chatting to fat squirrels and a heron on Xmas Day.

First times

So I drove home from my friends' wedding last night and there were a number of firsts for me - first time driving in heels, first time driving in heavy rain, first time driving through massive road-wide puddles and first time driving on country roads in the dark. All in all I did rather well, I thought. The man was way more relaxed than usual too, though that may have had more to do with the number of boozy drinks consumed.

Anyway I now know that I don't like driving in the pouring rain. I also don't really like puddles, though I can handle them. I really don't like other drivers who don't bother dipping their lights. I don't mind driving in small heels and I surprisingly do like driving down dark country lanes that are mainly empty. It was a bit like playing a racing game on the computer, though thankfully slower and, blessedly, with way more skill.

Brainless chilling...

...with reference to my previous post 'absence', it turns out I was right.

Digesting, taking time out, brainless chilling or wasting time - it's an essential skill in creating resilience. Call it what you will: it matters.

Check out this: Building resilience by wasting time.

First subzero cycle ride

I was a bit nervous, partly about whether I'd get frostbite and partly about whether I'd slip on ice and fall and break a bone and then freeze to death, immobile, unable to find my phone. All rather extreme, I appreciate.

The anxiety of driving the scary car in such conditions was worse than the anxiety of cycling, so I chose to ride.

I knew the roads would be gritted, but I didn't want roads - I wanted my usual ride through the university grounds and I can be very stubborn. No ice or frost or minus temperatures will stop me having my way!!

It now seems obvious, but even the tiniest path in the university was (miraculously) gritted...obvious, because in this silly country we are terrified of health and safety 'issues' and presumably they didn't want anyone to slip, break a bone and then freeze to death, all because they walked through ungritted university grounds. Makes me wonder how we survived as children...

Anyway, it was only marginally chillier than plus 4*C. One pair of tights might become two next time and my two pairs of gloves were replaced on the way home with one pair and one pair of snowboarding mittens - slightly trickier to change gear, but less risk of frostbite.

After all this, I'm glad I rode and the reason is because my ride made me feel incredibly happy. Sitting in a car, I'd have been warm and cosy and safe, but riding I was free, liberated and able to live in a crisp, invigorating world that bit at my cheeks and made my heart swoop towards the sky. It was stunningly beautiful this morning. I'll post some pics, so you can see what I mean.

What a beautiful world we live in.

Ice spikes

View from the bridge

View behind me

Snail curiosity

Usually, coming home from swimming on a Tuesday evening at 10pm, we have a dimly lit snail-based obstacle course down the side of the house. This misty dark evening there were none and I wondered where our little friends go when it is below zero. Much as I detest accidentally standing on them and hearing that awful crunch, I don't like the thought of their moist little bodies freezing solid, even if it would act as a kind of armour.

Some say they that as they magically disappear just as sprouts appear on our plates, clearly they turn into little green cabbages and jump onto supermarket shelves. Others say they go to Camden. Some say they burrow deeply and freeze, hibernating until they warm up again, while others say they produce anti-freeze in their blood.

Other, possibly more sensible people, say that they crawl beneath stuff and wait it out until winter, hibernating until things warm up again. It appears, you see, that the deeper you go (as with water), the warmer it gets. Clever snails, sleeping through winter.

I'm not really interested enough to do any more snail-related delving, because my curiosity is satisfied by the word 'hibernate'. They obviously go somewhere warmer (if darker) for the winter months and that's enough for me to know.

Anyway, I came across a cute website that I thought I'd share with you, in case you ever decide you want a pet snail. It's called My Pet Snail.

Today I love

The sunshine. The way frosty grass crackles underfoot. The cold air on my cheeks. How warm my ears are under my ear muffs. The blue skies. The orange and pink clouds. Life. You.

Absence

I feel as if there has been a lack of the inner me in my posts for a while. The inner me that is curious about the workings of people, that is deeply passionate about fulfilment, understanding, perception, insight and mental wellbeing.

I had intended to apologise for this, but even as I type, I realise that other sides of me have been absent for a longer while - the side of me that sees pretty things outdoors and wants to share them; the side of me that becomes indignant and doesn't want to understand another's pain; the side of me that is grumpy or bored or fed up with the weather; and the side of me that delights in simple things, like making guacamole and fairy cakes.

So as I type and decide I'm not going to apologise, because all sides of me are valid.

I think about learning (and therefore life) and about how important it is to take time out sometimes, to just digest and chill, to become, perhaps, ever so slightly brainless for a bit, while everything settles inside, before taking another step.

And another

With bird.

Text pest

I've been suffering at the hands of a text pest. At first I was distraught, but only for a short while, before I became enraged and disgusted with such pathetic behaviour.

I realised that for him to need to send such disgusting texts to a stranger...to hope to get some reaction from a person that could, for all he knows, be his grandfather, must mean that he has something seriously shit going on. Either he's got no life, or he has some addiction, or his life is so dull that he has to content himself with pestering strangers. Or he's just a nasty person.

Then I vacillated between pity and wanting to laugh at his pathetic attempts to regain power by trying to take away someone else's.

I am left feeling that I will not tolerate this shit from anyone. And I really don't care. He is worth only being laughed at, for being so utterly ridiculous.

Still slightly gobsmacked.

Chicks

Some chickens we met on our weekend away in the South Downs. Delightful, gorgeous little chickens. They made me very happy with their gurgling, cooing sounds. :-)

Best Mama in the world...

...is what I have. She listens. She understands. She gets. Her heart is compassion. She sees beneath the surface, in ways you might not imagine. She knows, although sometimes she might wish she didn't. She feels all the colours of the rainbow and then some, with an intensity that would frighten most. She is stronger than you or I could ever have imagined. She is love. Sometimes it takes a while, but she will always get there in the end. She will always love me and she will always understand, even when she or I think she doesn't.

I've never given her full credit before, but now I see her with clear eyes. It is my Mama who taught me to love and to see the world as a beautiful place. Peace and love to a truly beautiful woman.

Our little Xmas tree...

...is happily settled into her new home for the next month or so, in between Imran (the yucca) and Lily (the peace lily).

She doesn't have a name, but she's so glamorous with her tinsel, sparkles, lit up star and white bead necklaces that she doesn't need one.

West Wittering

Pretty leaves...

...and cold ears!

Frozen spider home

Well it's a bit chilly today. Bright sunshine, blue skies and plenty of frost.

View from our B&B

Misty, subzero, beautiful.