the random ponderings of an ordinary person
Up at 3.30am, torrential rain and thunder, issues with parking, security checked everything including me and the girlie, almost missed the flight, except it had engine trouble so it was delayed. Finally, almost there, half an hour from my summer home, quick stop to the let the driver nap and we're on our way again! We're doing really well!! 😍
I never understood all the parent posts about their kids going to school and found all the photos of them in their uniform tedious, but that's life. You don't get it often until you're in it. I feel so sad about the end of an era. It's different to the ends of my own eras, house moves, job moves, leaving London, leaving Hong Kong, spending time in Croatia. It's different because I'm holding my own mixed emotions as well as my son's. I feel like I'm holding a little boy's world in the palm of my hand and the centre of my heart, and right now it feels fragile to him, so I have to hold so gently to keep it intact. I can't take away his sadness, just hold him until the sadness passes...and help him through to the excitement of something new. The first light of my life is starting to light his own way.
Last school lunch I'll be making for a while...until the girlie starts full days at nursery. 😥 and 🤗
Today was the last full normal day of nursery for my son. He has a party day and a short ending early day next week. This was our last full week of nursery.
He couldn't fall asleep for ages tonight. He finally whispered that he was sad he wouldn't be going to school with his friends. That he wanted to stay where he's been at nursery. He didn't want to go somewhere new. His heart opened and he cried his eyes out. His grief is real and there is no cheering him up with platitudes. It is just something he needs to feel and get through and wait until he feels ok. He just needs to wait until he feels as at home at his new school.
I hear his sadness because I'm sad too. I will miss our lovely cycling route and the "weeeeeeeee" of the two lovely downhill sections first thing in the morning. I will miss the trees and the squirrels and the pigeons that seem so familiar now. I will miss the familiar faces of parents and teachers. I will miss chatting and walking with my friends. I feel sad too.
As I said to my boy, the depth of his sadness shows how happy he has been with this very large part of his life.
