Emotional self care

Wonderful talk on self care and how to be successful at what you want.

Dreams

So, I had my first proper remembered dream for over four years.

Due to pregnancy and breastfeeding and possibly sleep deprivation, I've not remembered any of my dreams for over four years. Last night I woke at 3am, like I always used to, from the most vivid dream I've had for years and I was blown away by the reality of it, the vividness of the colours, the sensation of touch and smell, the realness of the conversations and the intensity of the emotions. It felt so real, that I stayed awake for about an hour processing what had happened in the dream and what it meant to me, as if it had been real. It was a good experience that taught me a lot.

We get used to dreams, as adults, but feeling like this was my first real dream ever, I can now understand why children often find even the most ordinary dreams so frightening or confusing. How do you explain this concept to a toddler, how do you tell them it's not real, when it feels so very like reality?

It reminded me of something I wrote in 1997, over 20 years ago, when my dreams used to scare me.

Dreaming of reality

The illusion of reality scares me.  What if what I see is not really there?  What if all I see is just part of a dream?  What if I am just part of a dream?

To be thinking this, I must be real.  To have fear of nothing, I must be more than nothing.

To realise that I am more than nothing, I must exist in a world that also exists.

I live in what I see; I can touch it and smell it.  I have lived for twenty years in this world, and it has remained constant throughout.

But what if those twenty years are just an illusion?  What if I haven’t really lived in a world that was constant?  What if that was a dream too?

Does it matter?  If my memories are a dream, it was a nice dream.  If all my experiences were part of a dream, that dream taught me a lot.

Life is not about knowing what is real, or what to believe in, or what I am.

It is accepting that things just are the way they are and realising that I am no less real than that acceptance of my environment.

I am who I am.

The puddle philosophy

Yay for puddles! 😍

Green eggs and ham

I've wanted this book for years and found it for 10p at the library today. It did not disappoint! I absolutely loved it. Who says that parents don't get time to read a book in one sitting. 😂

And the girl is two

Happy second birthday to our storm in a teacup, dancing on rainbows daughter. Her delight at her world, the intensity of her emotions, her stubbornness and her bright mind bring me joy and laughter (as well as frustration) every day. Now she's talking constantly, we definitely know more of what goes on in that little head of hers.

Poop, poop, poop

Highlight of my day was this conversation:

Me: What would you like for lunch?
Son: Poop.
Me: [after many thoughtful and tasty suggestions being rejected in favour of poop] I could do poop porridge. [Thinking I could add chocolate powder]
Son: [looked thoughtful, then suspicious] Would it be actual poop, or would you really just be adding chocolate?
Me: Ah, well, um, chocolate.
Son: No, I want poop.

He ended up with six sausages. Most poop like, obviously.

😂

Tornados come in many shapes

After a night of 40°, I'd have thought the boy would be chilling in the sofa. Nope. Energy of a major tornado. I've set him cleaning windows with my homemade cleaner (mostly water, some white vinegar and two squirts of washing up liquid).