Counsellors and light bulbs

How many counsellors does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb really needs to want to change.

Boom boom! :-)

Falling in love

I wrote this a while ago and thought it might be a good time to share it.

"Falling in love, I had always thought, was electric – a passionate frisson of fire, chemistry and jumping sparks, with a nervous uncertainty deep inside. Love, I thought, by definition, made one anxious and on edge, unable to think of anything or anyone else when alone, and totally absorbed in it and by it when with the object of this love. It had never occurred to me that it could be this gentle, natural sun‑warming. It had never occurred to me before that electricity was man-made and is a temporary means of creating a light that fills your world for a moment, sometimes blinding you to what’s behind it, like a spotlight or a torch shining in your eyes. It never occurred to me that it’s the sun that has always been – burning brighter without blinding, and for longer without ending – a source of light that not only lights the way, but that warms your skin and heart and that, when you turn your face up towards it, casts all shadows behind you."

Art installation

So I was in the ladies in the Tate Modern and I noticed this butterfly.

I stared a while, assuming he was an intricate installation, then I got curious and gently touched his antennae. They moved ever so slightly. Then I touched a foot and he hopped back a tiny bit. I couldn't work out if he was real or not, unsure how good art can be. Eventually, after noticing a wing was damaged quite badly, I decided that I didn't care if I'd got it wrong and he was make believe, I had to tell someone. I couldn't bear the idea of him dying in a toilet rather than free in nature or on a leaf. It turned out that he'd escaped from an installation and someone was sent in to retrieve him.

I felt relief that he was rescued, but now I can't help wondering if I did the right thing. Either way, I'm glad he didn't stay in the toilets and I'm glad I saw him and noticed the life in him.

Compliments

"Hi gorgeous," "sexy lady," even a wolf whistle, I can take and I can enjoy the compliment, but "whoarr, look at that" followed by a raspberry does not go down well and neither does it make you attractive in any way, shape or form.

Gentlemen, please refine your compliments.

Surprises

I like surprises.

Yesterday my lovely man's dulcet tones floated through the flat to inform me that a flashing package had arrived in the post. I thought he was joking, but he was indeed correct. An envelope was flashing red from the inside. So exciting!

It turned out to be a set of pink flower bicycle lights all the way from Norway, the coolest lights I've ever seen! The back one is on my seat post and the front on my handlebars. I love them - thank you my Norwegian happiness senders!

Pink flower front light, on handlebars next to bell

Do you ever stop and think?

Disclaimer: this is probably not relevant to anyone I know.

Those of you that gob on the floor, especially those that do it bang in the middle of the pavement...do you ever think about what might happen to your gob?

Do you ever imagine that it might very soon attach itself to the hem of a long dress and then wind itself around the dress owner's ankles, causing the dress owner to gag repeatedly as she becomes aware of what has been creating the cold wet sensation around her feet? Do you ever imagine that your gob will cause her to go home immediately and scrub her feet and legs in the shower, having put her dress straight into the washing machine.

Inadvertently, other than creating a traumatic incident for someone, you have also contributed to a waste of energy and electricity. I don't suppose you really care though, not about my feelings or about the environment, because if you did you wouldn't have gobbed in the middle of the pavement in the first place.

I am very cross. This is me ranting. Thank you for your kind attention.

Storm clouds

The storm brews and builds up and we fear the worst. Sometimes it passes over without us even noticing it has come and gone. Sometimes the storm does hit and it rages all around until we think we can't take any more, but eventually, with time, the storm always passes and the sun shines once more.

I love rain

I'm wondering if my last post was a curse on myself. The number of things I am dealing with are piled so high that my head is heavy and I find that my heart is becoming heavier each day. I get the irony of my feelings right now.

The sound of rain falling outside soothes me a little in the absence of the man that should be stroking my hair. I can't wait until he's home again.

On the upside, I have finally found something good in this endless rain. Its sound soothes a depressed heart and its touch cleanses the mind that is heavy with rubbish. For the first time this spring, I want the heavens to open up and pour down on my world.

The importance of maintaining a depressed stance

I saw this pinned to the noticeboard at the counselling service where I work and I was highly amused by it. It also struck me how true it is and how much we cling to old behaviours and are surprised when things don't change. Reminded me of a quote I used to have on my wall:

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

Driving theory test

I passed!!

I was very worried about it - not about the multiple choice section, because that bit was easy enough, though much harder than any of the mock tests I tried - no, it was the hazard perception bit that I was very anxious about.

I started revising/practising yesterday morning and my clever brain was able to retain enough of the theory to pass the multiple choice, although much of it is fairly obvious if you have a grain of common sense. I found the BSM book very helpful in revising for this and, obviously, the Official Highway Code. All very interesting.

Theory questions - obviously, you can't look inside unless you're on the Amazon website

I also used some theory test sites, the most helpful being Driving-Test-Success.Com. The most amusing question I found asked what you would say if one of your drunk friends asked if you would race them to the next set of traffic lights. The correct answer was "Nah, racing's for chavs." Highly amusing and clearly not aimed at intelligent (occasional) Guardian reading learner drivers in their mid 30s.

Anyway, my bug bear is with the hazard perception test. I know some people who have failed this repeatedly - all highly intelligent and verging on genius - and I couldn't understand why when so many less intelligent people are able to pass easily.

For those that cleverly took their test years ago and have no idea what this is, it is a series of video clips where you must click when you see a possible hazard and click whenever you see a sign that increases the risk of this possible hazard becoming an actual hazard. For example, click when you see a car coming from a side road. Click again if it looks like it won't stop and again when it pulls out in front of you. The earlier you identify a possible hazard, the higher the score you get.

All this is fine. My issue is that if you identify hazards that the test designers don't think are hazards, it deducts points and assumes you're cheating. I knew, from a whole day of practicing yesterday, that I have a tendency to notice more hazards than they want me to notice. I am not cheating and in my mind I still maintain that they were possible hazards, but I was penalised for clicking them.

This makes me cross. Perhaps I am too nervous about possible risks and need to chill out - a possibility that I will definitely consider - but I still felt that the test itself was a little unfair. If you could only sit with someone and explain why you clicked and what your thought process was, I feel this would be easier. You pay over £30 for the test and there were at least 10 other people in with me. Surely that is enough to warrant an actual person checking those items where someone seems to click a lot or is just below the pass rate. I understand that maybe there are issues with fairness if you did this, but I really don't think that the way it is done is fair on those who are more sensitive. Even the screen was too bright for me and made my eyes hurt, yet I was told off for adjusting it. Anyway, the best hazard perception practice test I found was one the AA site.

I am sighing. I know this is a long post, but I needed to vent. Vent done, I am deeply grateful that I scraped through and passed. There's no way I'd want to do that again!

Good luck to anyone else taking the theory test!