We put him down earlier last night - 6.30 - and he woke around 10, for food, I thought, but it turned out that he was cross and tired and just wanted to sleep. I pulled him into bed with me and put some white noise on and he fell asleep quickly and happily.
I then woke gone 1am panicking that I'd suffocated him because he'd not woken up. My baby slept six hours without feeding. He's learning! I've no idea if it's the weaning or the earlier bedtime, so we shall see on this one, but he's not gone six hours without feeding since he was three months old and then only once or twice.
He slept well last night - partly in my bed, partly with white noise, but something is working better for us all and this is good.
the random ponderings of an ordinary person
Saturday, 29 March 2014
Missiles
It's amazing how far an infant can throw a spoon or cup across a room, or how much butternut squash they can fit in their nostrils or mush into their hair.
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Epidural - my experience
I wrote a piece on my experience of epidural in response to a request from an expert in the field. It's six months on, but I'm still processing what happened. I wonder if I'll always be processing it, or whether, one day, I'll be at peace with it all.
It wasn't planned. What we'd planned was a homebirth in a pool, but he began to arrive at 36 weeks and six days. The midwives hadn't delivered the air and gas at that point and neither had our pool arrived. At 37 weeks we went into hospital and after 24 hours they decided I needed some assistance because I'd (apparently) gone from 7cm to 5cm (having been taken out of the pool and into a bright side room across the corridor). This is when I was given an epidural. I hated every moment of it. I was afraid of the procedure and I was afraid of the side-effects. I didn't like all the people in my room and I didn't like the bright lights. It was busy and noisy and clinical.
The epidural made my legs hot and I intensely disliked the numb feeling. I was no longer aware of my body's sensations and being in tune with my body is and always has been important to me.
Along with the
epidural (and the reason for it) I was put on a hormone drip. This
didn't work, so I was then given a 'top up'. From just my middle being
numb, everything from my neck downwards became numb. And then the
c-section. I've gone over this bit many times. A handful of memories
stand out as being positive: seeing my son above the curtain for the
first time, watching my husband hold my son, having my son put on my
chest, next to me, his skin on mine, and the anaesthetist holding my
hand when my husband went across the room to be near my son when he was
taken away to do whatever they do in those few seconds that he was away
from me.
The after effects felt alien and intrusive - constant shaking; nausea; feeling out of it; not being sure, when I look back, where my son was...though I am told he was with me. I feel like part of my memories of this precious time have been removed from me forever and I wish I could go back and feel it all again with the clarity of my now-mind.
I'm grateful my son is safe and (now) a healthy six-month old, but I can't help wondering if there could have been another way and wishing that it had been so.
Epidural - my experience...
It wasn't planned. What we'd planned was a homebirth in a pool, but he began to arrive at 36 weeks and six days. The midwives hadn't delivered the air and gas at that point and neither had our pool arrived. At 37 weeks we went into hospital and after 24 hours they decided I needed some assistance because I'd (apparently) gone from 7cm to 5cm (having been taken out of the pool and into a bright side room across the corridor). This is when I was given an epidural. I hated every moment of it. I was afraid of the procedure and I was afraid of the side-effects. I didn't like all the people in my room and I didn't like the bright lights. It was busy and noisy and clinical.
The epidural made my legs hot and I intensely disliked the numb feeling. I was no longer aware of my body's sensations and being in tune with my body is and always has been important to me.
The after effects felt alien and intrusive - constant shaking; nausea; feeling out of it; not being sure, when I look back, where my son was...though I am told he was with me. I feel like part of my memories of this precious time have been removed from me forever and I wish I could go back and feel it all again with the clarity of my now-mind.
I'm grateful my son is safe and (now) a healthy six-month old, but I can't help wondering if there could have been another way and wishing that it had been so.
Friday, 21 March 2014
Second day of weaning
It's a rather upsettingly messy business, but he seems to enjoy it. He especially likes holding his own spoon and feeding himself. Sooner the better, I say!
He's also in full swing of teething with multipoos night and day, nappy rash and gallons of dribble. All while smiling bravely, as long as he's in the sling. Not much sleep for grown ups, so this post is short. Tired brain...
Monday, 10 March 2014
Movement
He just rolled from his back to his front!! I've also seen him roll, once (yesterday), from his front to his back, which scared him a little.
The last week or so, I come back into a room to find he's moved. Maybe 180 degrees around from where I left him, or a foot further 'down' from where I left him, but I'm yet to see how he does this.
I'm very impressed. Small things bring delight to my life with my son. :-)
The last week or so, I come back into a room to find he's moved. Maybe 180 degrees around from where I left him, or a foot further 'down' from where I left him, but I'm yet to see how he does this.
I'm very impressed. Small things bring delight to my life with my son. :-)
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
Secure sleeping
Just read an article about sleeping terrors of infants and I found it illuminating: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201110/why-young-children-protest-bedtime-evolutionary-mismatch
It also prompted me to respond and my response is below.
"For the first six weeks of his life, our son would only sleep on our chests. He happily then graduated to sleeping in a Moses basket right next to our bed and when he grew too big for that, he moved into a three sided cot next to us. He usually sleeps soundly and peacefully when near us or in a sling and when he cries he is attended to immediately - with a reassuring hand, soothing words or a cuddle, depending on the severity of the cry. He is usually a very chilled out and sociable little boy of five months - though currently a terrible sleeper, but I think he's teething.
A month ago I felt under pressure to 'help him' fall asleep on his own and tried to stop nursing or rocking him to sleep and it was the worst experience of my life (no exaggeration here). We tried the 'pick him up and put him down' method - no way I could handle letting him cry it out... We lasted two nights and decided to go back to giving him what he clearly needed. I would love to have a child who puts himself to sleep and doesn't need me so much - it can be exhausting - but I don't and I strongly feel he's too little to be moulded into something or someone he is not.
I found the article very interesting because I clearly remember all my childhood being happiest falling asleep in a room full of family members or where I could hear their voices - but until now I had forgotten this. I grew up in a family of five kids in a house that was slightly too small for us. Our summer holidays were spent in Croatia with extended family, where I slept in a room with my siblings and parents, my grandparents were in the living room, and cousins and aunt and uncle were in the second bedroom, with various other relatives in tents in the garden. For me, this felt like a secure heaven and I loved knowing how close they were.
Reading the article reminded me of how important having that security was, and also how important it probably is to my son. I'm glad he is still sleeping in our room with us and I feel more relaxed about 'allowing' him to have his daytime naps in a sling or, at least, not feeling I need to be rigid about putting him in his cot for his naps. As my husband always says when faced with a parenting choice "What do they do in Africa?"."
It also prompted me to respond and my response is below.
"For the first six weeks of his life, our son would only sleep on our chests. He happily then graduated to sleeping in a Moses basket right next to our bed and when he grew too big for that, he moved into a three sided cot next to us. He usually sleeps soundly and peacefully when near us or in a sling and when he cries he is attended to immediately - with a reassuring hand, soothing words or a cuddle, depending on the severity of the cry. He is usually a very chilled out and sociable little boy of five months - though currently a terrible sleeper, but I think he's teething.
A month ago I felt under pressure to 'help him' fall asleep on his own and tried to stop nursing or rocking him to sleep and it was the worst experience of my life (no exaggeration here). We tried the 'pick him up and put him down' method - no way I could handle letting him cry it out... We lasted two nights and decided to go back to giving him what he clearly needed. I would love to have a child who puts himself to sleep and doesn't need me so much - it can be exhausting - but I don't and I strongly feel he's too little to be moulded into something or someone he is not.
I found the article very interesting because I clearly remember all my childhood being happiest falling asleep in a room full of family members or where I could hear their voices - but until now I had forgotten this. I grew up in a family of five kids in a house that was slightly too small for us. Our summer holidays were spent in Croatia with extended family, where I slept in a room with my siblings and parents, my grandparents were in the living room, and cousins and aunt and uncle were in the second bedroom, with various other relatives in tents in the garden. For me, this felt like a secure heaven and I loved knowing how close they were.
Reading the article reminded me of how important having that security was, and also how important it probably is to my son. I'm glad he is still sleeping in our room with us and I feel more relaxed about 'allowing' him to have his daytime naps in a sling or, at least, not feeling I need to be rigid about putting him in his cot for his naps. As my husband always says when faced with a parenting choice "What do they do in Africa?"."
Saturday, 1 March 2014
Friday, 28 February 2014
Cranky sleeping baby
Not posted for a while and there's a reason for that...a cranky (non)sleeping baby.
He's been waking me every hour at night and taking hours to fall asleep during the daytime, preceded by screaming fits. I've been told that breastfed co-sleeping babies do tend to feed more, but seven times a night at five months old?? I don't think so.
Anyway, I bought a sleep book (the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley) and carefully plotted my sleep logs to see what was going on - in the daytime, his pre-bedtime routine and his night time awakenings and feedings. We've worked out that he was going to bed too late and not getting enough sleep (day or night). His early "I'm tired" cues are lifts in social engagement - he gets silly, playful, over giggly, starts blowing raspberries in the face of anyone who'll have them. We put him to bed at 8.15pm the first night we tried an earlier night, then 7.45pm the next night and finally he was asleep by 7.30pm last night. In the daytime I focus on having a peaceful afternoon and trying to ensure he gets a good series of naps - usually in the car driving to and from places, when we go for a nice walk or just in the sling. My priority, in the daytime, is to ensure he falls asleep and gets good sleep, so that come evening, he won't be overtired.
We also realised that our evenings were not as relaxed as they ought to be to get a baby sleepy - too much loud chat, too much activity, and a super bright light in the bathroom perfectly in time for bedtime. So we've decided to be more peaceful in the evenings (no monster-daddy or aeroplanes and no Skype chat with family) and we use a dimmer light once he's upstairs - which conveniently has a fan attached to it, so it produces gentle white noise at the same time.
Last night my (currently deeply adored) husband decided I should sleep on the side of the bed away from our baby and he would sleep next to the three-sided cot, as the other instruction we've decided to use is to "pretend to be asleep" when the boy mutters or begins to wake up. The boy has got used to being nursed to sleep and fights me if I try to get him to sleep any other way - understandably, as this is what he's always been given. Who'd chose to lie on his own in a cot (even with mama next to him) if he could be snuggled up against a nice big warm boob? Sometimes, all he would do at night (once positioned on my feeding cushion with me sitting up in bed) would be to snuggle up to my boob and promptly fall asleep...waking the second I moved in any way.
So, my lovely man took on the night shift. When baby boy stirred he left him, if he stirred more, he'd shhh the boy (but then get bored and fall asleep), and if he really kicked off (which in the big scheme of things wasn't a real kick off, but a cry of protestation and indignation, and probably irritation), he'd hand him over to mama for a feed. Down from seven feeds, we had three last night, with only a half hour of wakefulness down from 1.5 hours; and the boy is still sleeping. He's now had 11 hours sleep, which is what he ought to have...though he missed an hour nap last night, so I'm hoping he'll sleep longer.
I am overjoyed and delighted and slept better last night than I have in weeks...and my horrid cold is much improved from last night...and this clearly works. I might have to enlist the man's help another few nights to get the boy used to this new routine and pattern of night time activity.
Finally, to aid sleep time in the car, I bought a couple of white noise CDs. I've only listed to one so far (the BabyCalm CD) and it was fairly miraculous in how it calmed him. It's staying in the car. No more Craig David for my husband. The CD is a loud heartbeat track over an oscillating white noise track, a bit like waves on a beach. I could almost fall asleep to it myself.
There are always solutions to every problem, of that I am convinced, and I'm currently finding it for this one. Please keep all your fingers and toes crossed for me!
He's been waking me every hour at night and taking hours to fall asleep during the daytime, preceded by screaming fits. I've been told that breastfed co-sleeping babies do tend to feed more, but seven times a night at five months old?? I don't think so.
Anyway, I bought a sleep book (the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley) and carefully plotted my sleep logs to see what was going on - in the daytime, his pre-bedtime routine and his night time awakenings and feedings. We've worked out that he was going to bed too late and not getting enough sleep (day or night). His early "I'm tired" cues are lifts in social engagement - he gets silly, playful, over giggly, starts blowing raspberries in the face of anyone who'll have them. We put him to bed at 8.15pm the first night we tried an earlier night, then 7.45pm the next night and finally he was asleep by 7.30pm last night. In the daytime I focus on having a peaceful afternoon and trying to ensure he gets a good series of naps - usually in the car driving to and from places, when we go for a nice walk or just in the sling. My priority, in the daytime, is to ensure he falls asleep and gets good sleep, so that come evening, he won't be overtired.
We also realised that our evenings were not as relaxed as they ought to be to get a baby sleepy - too much loud chat, too much activity, and a super bright light in the bathroom perfectly in time for bedtime. So we've decided to be more peaceful in the evenings (no monster-daddy or aeroplanes and no Skype chat with family) and we use a dimmer light once he's upstairs - which conveniently has a fan attached to it, so it produces gentle white noise at the same time.
Last night my (currently deeply adored) husband decided I should sleep on the side of the bed away from our baby and he would sleep next to the three-sided cot, as the other instruction we've decided to use is to "pretend to be asleep" when the boy mutters or begins to wake up. The boy has got used to being nursed to sleep and fights me if I try to get him to sleep any other way - understandably, as this is what he's always been given. Who'd chose to lie on his own in a cot (even with mama next to him) if he could be snuggled up against a nice big warm boob? Sometimes, all he would do at night (once positioned on my feeding cushion with me sitting up in bed) would be to snuggle up to my boob and promptly fall asleep...waking the second I moved in any way.
So, my lovely man took on the night shift. When baby boy stirred he left him, if he stirred more, he'd shhh the boy (but then get bored and fall asleep), and if he really kicked off (which in the big scheme of things wasn't a real kick off, but a cry of protestation and indignation, and probably irritation), he'd hand him over to mama for a feed. Down from seven feeds, we had three last night, with only a half hour of wakefulness down from 1.5 hours; and the boy is still sleeping. He's now had 11 hours sleep, which is what he ought to have...though he missed an hour nap last night, so I'm hoping he'll sleep longer.
I am overjoyed and delighted and slept better last night than I have in weeks...and my horrid cold is much improved from last night...and this clearly works. I might have to enlist the man's help another few nights to get the boy used to this new routine and pattern of night time activity.
Finally, to aid sleep time in the car, I bought a couple of white noise CDs. I've only listed to one so far (the BabyCalm CD) and it was fairly miraculous in how it calmed him. It's staying in the car. No more Craig David for my husband. The CD is a loud heartbeat track over an oscillating white noise track, a bit like waves on a beach. I could almost fall asleep to it myself.
There are always solutions to every problem, of that I am convinced, and I'm currently finding it for this one. Please keep all your fingers and toes crossed for me!
Friday, 14 February 2014
Sunday, 9 February 2014
Little girl enjoying rain
Came across this video of a little girl enjoying rain. Beautiful reaction to exploring, adventure and nature. I love it!