I wrote this partly with a friend in mind and partly as a reminder to myself (we're both stay at home mothers of two). My initial motivation was to help increase calm and positive reactions in the face of a demanding, hugely unreasonable, struggling or overwhelmed toddler (or self!!)
Mindfulness and meditation practices are about training your mind and yourself to be more alert, aware and conscious as you go about your daily life. This is so that you learn to consciously choose your behavioural reactions, rather than the reactions taking you over. Practice leads to reduced stress, reduced negativity, increased energy and motivation, greater calmness and a sense of control, and more compassion for yourself, perhaps most importantly, especially as a mother we're alone a lot of the day and can be so tough on ourselves; but also for others, including our little people.
There are loads of different ways to practice.
Some people find passive activities like massage and Reiki help, but you'd have to have sessions at least weekly. I used to go to yoga classes, but I also found running, mountain biking and dancing left me in the same state of mind - writing and colouring in too, as well as washing dishes if I'm on my own and it's quiet! Interestingly, also giving counselling was meditative for me. Anything that allows you to focus your mind on one thing to the exclusion of other intrusive thoughts - about daily life at one end, or negative thoughts about yourself at the other.
So, think about any activities you already do where you have even two minutes alone. Showering sometimes? In bed while little ones are asleep, perhaps after nursing... Or maybe even while nursing overnight - the precious quiet of the night!
One technique is focusing on what you're doing in detail - so with showering, the temperature and feel of the water on your skin, the sounds as water fills your ears, any patches of cold skin, the taste on your tongue, the feel of the floor beneath your feet, the sound of water falling etc... I find for many that eyes closed help me, but sometimes earplugs are more helpful!
A specific version of this is to focus just on breathing - the cool temperature of air around the nostrils when you breathe in and the warm air through your nostrils on the out breath. The sensation of your ribs expanding and collapsing. Feeling the air fill you and leave you.
Another is the body scan. You focus on each part of your body in detail from bottom to top, each toe, foot, ankle, shin, calf, knee etc. all the way to your face (muscles of neck, cheeks, lips, ears, around the eyes, forehead, scalp). You can choose to simply focus on relaxing each muscle, imagining blood flow, imagining filling each part with light or a colour, or cleansing each part with water. This can be five minutes or an hour. You can find stuff on YouTube I'm sure, or you can get CDs to listen to.
Then there are other mindfulness exercises. I like one about food, which is to think about all the work that went into your food as you eat it. This is a good one to do with kids. For example, rice - workers in rice fields, those that plant the rice, the people who harvest and bag it, the drivers and pilots who get it to us, shopkeepers, delivery driver, mama cooking it, water companies for the boiling water etc ...
I've also got a mindfulness bell app on my phone. It chimes randomly throughout the day and when you hear it, you just stop and take a moment to notice how you feel at the exact moment or what you're doing, maybe go a step further when you're good at that and ask if you're doing things the way you'd like to be, what you might change in that exact moment. I like it.
Finally, there are visualisations. There are loads I have done and could describe, but starting out it's often easier to hear someone else's voice. My absolute favourites (about 20 minutes each), are by The Honest Guys on YouTube. Visualisations based in Hobbit land. Gorgeous!
The trick is to spend a little time trying out each one and see what you like best or what works best... Then, try to do five minutes every day. You can do different ones each day. If that feels really unmanageable, do two longer sessions a week and work up until it becomes habit and a pleasant ritual. It is work, it is exercise for the brain and mind, but like any exercise, it pays off.
Anyway, I hope something in here has been useful to someone.
