I was going to take a photo of our only poppy, but the boy got to it first!
the random ponderings of an ordinary person
Tuesday 24 June 2014
Baby brain
This post has been brewing a while and as my son sleeps a mega sleep upstairs, I find I can't snooze too, because I have these words running around my mind.
I don't believe in baby brain. There, I've said it. My feminist side says that it was a concept created by men who didn't want women with babies returning to the workforce. Why? Well now, there's the question and I don't have a definitive answer to that.
Women with children can be scary and not afraid of speaking their minds. For many, their priorities have changed and they no longer care as much about things that don't matter - things that are not of life and death i.e. work. These attitudes can be threatening. Dismissing them as 'baby brain' trivialises them and means they don't need to be taken seriously or dealt with. Everyone else can trot along in the old way of focusing on things that really don't matter in the big scheme of things, and avoid facing the deeper issues of meaning and existence...or simply, avoid facing the fact that their lives are not quite what they wish them to be.
Of course, I'm not talking about everyone...just a select few that I have had the misfortune to come across in my life.
My brain is not as effective as it was, it is true, but I firmly believe that this is down to sleep deprivation. On days when I feel rested, my brain functions perfectly effectively, as good as before, if not better, with my new filter that is better at ignoring the stuff that really doesn't matter.
Anyway, the debate opens and thoughts are welcome.
I don't believe in baby brain. There, I've said it. My feminist side says that it was a concept created by men who didn't want women with babies returning to the workforce. Why? Well now, there's the question and I don't have a definitive answer to that.
Women with children can be scary and not afraid of speaking their minds. For many, their priorities have changed and they no longer care as much about things that don't matter - things that are not of life and death i.e. work. These attitudes can be threatening. Dismissing them as 'baby brain' trivialises them and means they don't need to be taken seriously or dealt with. Everyone else can trot along in the old way of focusing on things that really don't matter in the big scheme of things, and avoid facing the deeper issues of meaning and existence...or simply, avoid facing the fact that their lives are not quite what they wish them to be.
Of course, I'm not talking about everyone...just a select few that I have had the misfortune to come across in my life.
My brain is not as effective as it was, it is true, but I firmly believe that this is down to sleep deprivation. On days when I feel rested, my brain functions perfectly effectively, as good as before, if not better, with my new filter that is better at ignoring the stuff that really doesn't matter.
Anyway, the debate opens and thoughts are welcome.
Monday 23 June 2014
Today's highlights
Breakfast was mainly butter (licked off the toast)
Lunch was one strip of chicken and guacamole*
Lunch was also wanting the last of my fajita and pulling it apart and smearing it over his face*
Tea was lettuce with guacamole* and a chunk of pear, with a mini chew of a mushroom (refusal of salmon and baby sweetcorn)
Today he learned to climb stairs...or rather he climbed one stair to get to his Bakica on Skype - again the laptop proves to be a marvellous incentive (I placed her on the third step in the hope he wouldn't be able to get to the laptop - my hopes were dashed in the face of his gleeful achievement)
Today he discovered my belly button stud and wanted to eat it (it was still attached to me, so that's fine, it poses no choking hazard!) - it also successfully distracted him from a major crying session (following him pouring his water over the kitchen floor and slipping over on it, and banging his head)
Today he also learned to shake a shaker on request, rather than just eating it
He has taken to staggering around his cot and flopping on his belly repeatedly to get to sleep - today he flopped onto and fell asleep on my arm and I was too scared to moved it for 15 minutes so I had a lovely snooze while I worked hard being his pillow
Successful removal of pins and needle arm without waking baby
My banana and pecan loaf failed visually but gets ten points for flavour
Nappy wash done, second load on, house clean and tidy again, car failed MOT and repaired and then passed and returned, tomorrow's lunch made for the man
Just got to do some sewing, hang the nappies out on the line and eat more banana loaf.
---
* For elderly relatives:
- Guacamole is avocado mashed up with tomatoes, chillies and yoghurt - in my case soya yoghurt and also some ground cumin, cayenne pepper and cinnamon, plus chives and spring onion, with a dash of cider vinegar (in the absence of lime or lemon juice)
- Fajitas are flat breads filled with sauce of chicken, onions, peppers, tomatoes and mushrooms with chilli, yoghurt, guacamole, lettuce and (for most people) cheese
Both guacamole and fajitas are messy in the hands of a nine month old.
Lunch was one strip of chicken and guacamole*
Lunch was also wanting the last of my fajita and pulling it apart and smearing it over his face*
Tea was lettuce with guacamole* and a chunk of pear, with a mini chew of a mushroom (refusal of salmon and baby sweetcorn)
Today he learned to climb stairs...or rather he climbed one stair to get to his Bakica on Skype - again the laptop proves to be a marvellous incentive (I placed her on the third step in the hope he wouldn't be able to get to the laptop - my hopes were dashed in the face of his gleeful achievement)
Today he discovered my belly button stud and wanted to eat it (it was still attached to me, so that's fine, it poses no choking hazard!) - it also successfully distracted him from a major crying session (following him pouring his water over the kitchen floor and slipping over on it, and banging his head)
Today he also learned to shake a shaker on request, rather than just eating it
He has taken to staggering around his cot and flopping on his belly repeatedly to get to sleep - today he flopped onto and fell asleep on my arm and I was too scared to moved it for 15 minutes so I had a lovely snooze while I worked hard being his pillow
Successful removal of pins and needle arm without waking baby
My banana and pecan loaf failed visually but gets ten points for flavour
Nappy wash done, second load on, house clean and tidy again, car failed MOT and repaired and then passed and returned, tomorrow's lunch made for the man
Just got to do some sewing, hang the nappies out on the line and eat more banana loaf.
---
* For elderly relatives:
- Guacamole is avocado mashed up with tomatoes, chillies and yoghurt - in my case soya yoghurt and also some ground cumin, cayenne pepper and cinnamon, plus chives and spring onion, with a dash of cider vinegar (in the absence of lime or lemon juice)
- Fajitas are flat breads filled with sauce of chicken, onions, peppers, tomatoes and mushrooms with chilli, yoghurt, guacamole, lettuce and (for most people) cheese
Both guacamole and fajitas are messy in the hands of a nine month old.
Wednesday 18 June 2014
Tuesday 17 June 2014
Ovulation post pregnancy
Interesting. Sling carrying/baby wearing, co-sleeping, high feed levels
(day and night) and comfort suckling all contribute to a later
recommencement of ovulation: http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x553497/im-breastfeeding-so-why-have-my-periods-started-again.
Sorry if it's too much information, but I find it fascinating as I haven't had a period in around 18 months now, which is clearly great for me. No more babies for a while though!
Sorry if it's too much information, but I find it fascinating as I haven't had a period in around 18 months now, which is clearly great for me. No more babies for a while though!
Sunday 15 June 2014
Post yoga retreat
Oh, and the first thing I did, upon arriving home after my yoga retreat was to consume a large bar of dark chocolate with a nice cup of tea, followed by a big fat juicy steak with salad...and then I tidied everything away.
Unexpected occurrences
Last week was awful. My back seized up on Tuesday, thankfully minutes before the man was due to leave for work, and he had to take the next two days off work to look after me and the boy. It was awful. For a few days I couldn't walk or bend or lift anything (or anyone) and I felt terrible that I couldn't carry or cuddle my little boy - I couldn't do the one job that is mine, and mine alone. He became clingier than usual over night and seemed to want to sleep in the crook of my armpit all night all long - rather painful with a seized up back.
The strong anti-inflammatories and cocodomol, by the third day, did their job. So well, in fact, that I didn't notice that the heat patches I was wearing on my back had created a long string of blisters - two burst revealing raw weeping flesh beneath. I felt rather sorry for myself, but literally only for a moment, before the self-pity disappeared. Something changed in me last week. I like to think it wasn't just the drugs chilling me out, but I suddenly, out of nowhere, didn't see the point in being upset or stressed or cross.
Anyway, we were booked onto a yoga weekend, camping, with the boy's auntie and a good friend, and I was a bit gutted (again only momentarily) that I wouldn't be able to do any yoga.
We arrived later than we'd hoped, in baking sun, and soon realised that the camping set up wasn't going to work. One of the lovely organisers decided to assign us the best room in the house "just in case" so we moved up there after about an hour of faffing - me feeling we ought to camp anyway for a while, and finally accepting we should just do what was easiest.
That night we had the most enormous thunderstorm for over an hour, right overhead. No-one slept a wink, except my boy, just snuggling closer with the loudest claps.
The weekend was wonderful. My sister and friend helped lots with sling carrying/naptime and we were flexible about his routine. He ate well. He slept well (though his bedtime didn't work - too much noise and scared of the shower - and he fell asleep a few hours later than usual on both nights). He loved the group energy, the singing and the smiling faces around him. He loved the attention and charmed his way into the hearts of everyone. He loved investigating and exploring all the new people and their dreadlocks, their beards, their sparkly clothing, their sheepskin rugs...and the panelling and detail of the beautiful old house we were in. He crawled into the laps of strangers, looking up at their faces as they sang songs, and then moving on to the next person, pulling himself up to standing to tug at the arm or scarf of those around him. I felt so very proud of him and of myself for helping him to be so confident and self-assured, for helping him to feel comfortable in exploring his environment without fear.
He has also just learned about object permanence (knowing things are still there when they're hidden), cleverly removing blankets designed to cover electronics and digital equipment, minutes after I've hidden them. It seems that literally nothing is safe now, unless it's over a foot above him!
Anyway, our first experience of a yoga retreat was such a joy that it has given me confidence and a desire to do it again. The start of a new life for my little one. And thank you to his lovely auntie and my friend. :-)
The strong anti-inflammatories and cocodomol, by the third day, did their job. So well, in fact, that I didn't notice that the heat patches I was wearing on my back had created a long string of blisters - two burst revealing raw weeping flesh beneath. I felt rather sorry for myself, but literally only for a moment, before the self-pity disappeared. Something changed in me last week. I like to think it wasn't just the drugs chilling me out, but I suddenly, out of nowhere, didn't see the point in being upset or stressed or cross.
Anyway, we were booked onto a yoga weekend, camping, with the boy's auntie and a good friend, and I was a bit gutted (again only momentarily) that I wouldn't be able to do any yoga.
We arrived later than we'd hoped, in baking sun, and soon realised that the camping set up wasn't going to work. One of the lovely organisers decided to assign us the best room in the house "just in case" so we moved up there after about an hour of faffing - me feeling we ought to camp anyway for a while, and finally accepting we should just do what was easiest.
That night we had the most enormous thunderstorm for over an hour, right overhead. No-one slept a wink, except my boy, just snuggling closer with the loudest claps.
The weekend was wonderful. My sister and friend helped lots with sling carrying/naptime and we were flexible about his routine. He ate well. He slept well (though his bedtime didn't work - too much noise and scared of the shower - and he fell asleep a few hours later than usual on both nights). He loved the group energy, the singing and the smiling faces around him. He loved the attention and charmed his way into the hearts of everyone. He loved investigating and exploring all the new people and their dreadlocks, their beards, their sparkly clothing, their sheepskin rugs...and the panelling and detail of the beautiful old house we were in. He crawled into the laps of strangers, looking up at their faces as they sang songs, and then moving on to the next person, pulling himself up to standing to tug at the arm or scarf of those around him. I felt so very proud of him and of myself for helping him to be so confident and self-assured, for helping him to feel comfortable in exploring his environment without fear.
He has also just learned about object permanence (knowing things are still there when they're hidden), cleverly removing blankets designed to cover electronics and digital equipment, minutes after I've hidden them. It seems that literally nothing is safe now, unless it's over a foot above him!
Anyway, our first experience of a yoga retreat was such a joy that it has given me confidence and a desire to do it again. The start of a new life for my little one. And thank you to his lovely auntie and my friend. :-)
Wednesday 4 June 2014
Experimental
Once the boy wakes up, we're having scrambled eggs with chive flower, flat mushrooms and courgette, with homemade bread.
He eats all these items separately, with both of our first taste of chive flower fresh from the plant yesterday, deliciously dressed in rainwater, so we'll see what he makes of them all together!
He eats all these items separately, with both of our first taste of chive flower fresh from the plant yesterday, deliciously dressed in rainwater, so we'll see what he makes of them all together!
Tuesday 3 June 2014
Post tooth bedtime
Not entirely sure what else changed in my boy when his first two teeth popped out, but this evening, instead of his usual fairly quiet evening fall asleep routine, he spent half an hour crawling around his cot and flopping down on his tummy, rubbing his head into the mattress, my legs, my tummy, then grabbing my trouser leg with his teeth and tugging, crawling around again...chatting all the time, before finally flopping on his belly in a seemingly asleep pose. I left it ten minutes before stealthily, ninja like, rolling off the bed, and his little hand shot out and grabbed mine, preventing me leaving. He did this little hand grabbing thing twice, melting my heart, so I lay next to him (not because of the heart being melted and physically preventing me, but because of the heart metaphorically melting and preventing me), and I waited until he'd properly fallen asleep.
Had all four sides been on his cot, I wonder if he'd have fallen asleep on his own, but unfortunately his pre-bathtime routine usually has him in his cot listening to music. Today I heard a tiny sound and popped in to the bedroom to see him (mid bath being run) and he had hiked over two pillows and a piled up duvet and abseiled down the other side, and was making a run for the edge of the bed. I couldn't leave him to fall asleep on his own!!
Anyway, he's now asleep and I am sewing and watching fun TV. All is well with the heart. I meant, of course, that all is well with the world, but my fingers typed 'heart' instead, so I thought I'd leave it as it typed. My heart is still a little bit soft from the earlier melting, so all is well, as well, with the heart.
Fingers crossed for better sleep tonight! :-)
Had all four sides been on his cot, I wonder if he'd have fallen asleep on his own, but unfortunately his pre-bathtime routine usually has him in his cot listening to music. Today I heard a tiny sound and popped in to the bedroom to see him (mid bath being run) and he had hiked over two pillows and a piled up duvet and abseiled down the other side, and was making a run for the edge of the bed. I couldn't leave him to fall asleep on his own!!
Anyway, he's now asleep and I am sewing and watching fun TV. All is well with the heart. I meant, of course, that all is well with the world, but my fingers typed 'heart' instead, so I thought I'd leave it as it typed. My heart is still a little bit soft from the earlier melting, so all is well, as well, with the heart.
Fingers crossed for better sleep tonight! :-)
Sleep variation
So after the first tooth popped out, we had a night with only two feeds and an unbroken stretch of six hours! I couldn't help wondering who had replaced my baby!
Last night we were worse than ever - feeds every two hours until 3am, which, it seemed, was time to wake up. He has only slept in the sling since then - ten minutes on the man's back, then 45 minutes on mine. I unfortunately needed to poo, so tried to disengage him, but he woke up. :-(
Anyway, I've just noticed that the top right tooth is now peeking through. My poor poppet is obviously in pain. He's super clingy today too, wanted to be carried everywhere. This is my only two minutes of 'time out' so far today - he's occupied with a noisy plastic hammer, which he is no doubt chewing very hard.
Anyway, hopefully this'll be it for teeth for a few nights, so we can all get some snooze time. :-)
Last night we were worse than ever - feeds every two hours until 3am, which, it seemed, was time to wake up. He has only slept in the sling since then - ten minutes on the man's back, then 45 minutes on mine. I unfortunately needed to poo, so tried to disengage him, but he woke up. :-(
Anyway, I've just noticed that the top right tooth is now peeking through. My poor poppet is obviously in pain. He's super clingy today too, wanted to be carried everywhere. This is my only two minutes of 'time out' so far today - he's occupied with a noisy plastic hammer, which he is no doubt chewing very hard.
Anyway, hopefully this'll be it for teeth for a few nights, so we can all get some snooze time. :-)
Sunday 1 June 2014
Razor sharp
Our baby has a tooth! Top left, a sharp ridge of white is sticking out from his gums, like the Sierra Nevada. Poor baby, no wonder he's been struggling to sleep. But hurrah for there being a reason! :-)