Champagne morning

Mr Gordon, from down the road, used to sometimes greet me with a smile and say "A champagne crisp morning!"

I never really understood what he meant, but it was always a day like today: crisp, blue skies, bright sunshine, subzero air, cold enough to see my breath, that delicious way that the sun has on such days to blind you unexpectedly as you round a corner, so, just for a second, your world is nothing but light.

Today, walking down the street, breathing in the scent of a wood burning stove, I remember Mr Gordon and, though I'm sure he never carried one, I will always remember him in a black bowler hat to match his long black umbrella and black shiny shoes.

Nice things...

Dullsville

What is it with November weather this year? Guess we're liking the number '12' tomorrow.

At least I can use my new brolly. Yay!

Even flatter

At least it makes deciding what to wear easier. No brolly, no sunglasses, no need to worry about waterproof feet or coat. No need to worry about layers that I can remove when it gets warmer or add on when it gets colder. Nice even seven...

Breakthrough

Just come out of my darkroom to find that the grey monotonous sky has broken into clear blue, with bright sunshine lighting up the oranges and yellows of autumn. How utterly divine!

Flatlining

This has to be the dullest weather forecast I have ever seen. It's not even raining, so I can't use my gorgeous new brolly. Roll on the weekend!!

Our delicious meal

Oooh, homemade chips, coated in sesame oil and sprinkled with salt, black pepper and cayenne pepper. We served them up with broccoli, oyster mushrooms fried in garlic, and mussels.

It was hard to find a recipe for mussels that didn't involve either cream or white wine, but eventually we cooked them in coconut milk, with a couple of finely chopped spring onions, two chillis and a garlic, plus some ginger, lime and fish sauce. Honestly the most delicious mussels I have ever eaten.

Clever us! Or maybe food made together, with love, tastes of love.

Shame about the photo, but just to give you an idea.

We didn't use the coriander or lemongrass, and we substituted ground nut oil for sesame oil, but otherwise, this is the recipe we used: Thai style mussels.

Autumn

Colours. Beautiful. Bright. Crisp. Happy.

Wood burner?

I want one. :-)

Bracknell Forest

We decided to go for a wander in the forest today and lovely it was too. We came across many yummy looking mushrooms, but I was too scared to pick any of those we found. Instead I bought four different types the minute we got home. We also saw some rather random sludgy stuff. If anyone knows what it is and if it's poisonous, please let me know. I'm rather curious. It didn't make me want to eat any.

Me and him

Random sludgy stuff on tree stump

Pretty ferns and trees

My yummy guacamole

I can rarely buy it in shops because it's full of double cream, so I make my own and today's is especially tasty. Sorry for the terrible photo.

- one avocado
- half a medium sized tomato
- three tablespoons soya yoghurt
- pinch of salt
- a number of totally unmeasured dashes of cumin, cinnamon, garlic, paprika, cayenne and chilli (the same spices that will go into our fajita mix)

Yummy. Can't wait for dinner!

Shame

Just watched a very interesting TED talk on shame that, at times, made me want to cry. The truth often makes me want to cry, especially if it's a truth that resonates or one that is not often acknowledged.

One part especially touched me. It was a section on how if a woman can sit with a man and be with him in his shame, without judging, just sitting with him on his journey, she is doing something amazing. This touched me because of men I have worked with as a counsellor and who I know in my heart my acceptance of them in their entirety and my honesty about the space between us as I perceived it, healed something in them. It touched me because I could see that so many women in their lives misjudge them or don't allow them to be who they are and shame continues this game.

I don't claim to be perfect - in part the story brought tears to my eyes because it made me realise how imperfect I am and how difficult I can be with my own man, but all I can do is to keep trying my best, apologising when I've done something I feel is wrong and forgiving myself each time I screw up.

Brené Brown talks on shame here.

Remembering how to love someone

Just came across something I wrote about five years ago and for some reason it makes me stop and think.

"If I love you truly, it’s because I can see your essence. I see a glimpse of something deeply beautiful inside you, like a shining light that shows me who you were as a child. It lights up all the dark corners of your being, showing me your faults and flaws and everything that makes you human. It shines through your skin, so that you too become deeply beautiful. No matter how ugly you might think you are on the outside, to me you are beautiful. Once I have seen that raw core (and as long as you keep letting me see it), once I have touched that part of you with my eyes and therefore with my heart (and as long as you keep that part of you open to me), I will always love you. Is this what they call the soul? Is this what I see inside you? Is this what makes you ‘you’? This light I see shining out of you, is this you? This light I see shining out of you, do I have one of those too? Is it my inner light that makes me who I am? I see something inside you that defines who you are to me. Do I have that something too? Do I have something inside of me, like a light, that shines out of me and that defines who I am?"

Important, maybe, to never lose sight of that thing you once saw in someone that made you say "I love you", otherwise you might forget how to love them.