Sunday 27 June 2010

Seconds?

I absorbed culture today. We ambled around the old town or the upper town, whichever you prefer to call it. We met at 9am at Jelacic Plac, or Trg Bana Jelacica, as we are supposed to call it, and we were led around while being given a very interesting historical tour by a Croatian guy called Danijel. The problem was, it was early and I'd only had half a cup of tea. I tried really hard to pay attention, but my eyes kept seeing random things and I before I knew it, I'd wandered away and was poking at a bit of wall or peering into a little hole. People kept thinking they'd lost me or I'd escaped. I got some lovely photos but I don't remember a huge amount about the history. Shame on me, I know, but I enjoyed it much more than I would have otherwise.

As we walked past Zrinjevac park, I realised that it was going to go on for ages (though certainly no later than 4pm because Danijel wanted to watch the football) and I excused myself at 1pm to go for a yummy Croatian lunch (followed by homemade cherry strudel) cooked by my beautiful aunt.

For some reason I am shattered today, but my speech and comprehension is improving already, I am sure, and we've not even started the course yet. I chatted to my cousin's son, who played with my camera, taking very well framed photos and making creative videos. I was honoured with a ketchupy cheese burger kiss as he headed upstairs for his bath. He was good Croatian practice and very forgiving with my mistakes. I then watched a ridiculous comedy drama thing on TV at my aunt's and ate (more) homemade cherry strudel - ridiculous, but I understood it all. My brain seems to be reconnecting to something that it must know from somewhere, because half of all this I did not know a few days ago and I find myself using words from the Istrian dialect before I realise that they are not quite right. Maybe my 13-year old Croatian is coming back to me from somewhere - I had no idea that it's been in storage all this time. My brain is tired though, it's hard work doing all that unpacking and resorting.

I also need either my sister or my boyfriend to make my aunt happy and eat more of the food she offers - I am sure I disappoint her terribly, or at least confuse her, as to why I don't want seconds. I don't often have seconds. My belly is designed for grazing.

"Do you want another piece?"

"No thank you."

2 minutes later
"Do you want another piece? Have one, here."
"No thank you."

2 minutes later
"Have another piece."
"I don't want one."
"Why not?"

"I'm full."
"You're full?" cue confused look.

2 minutes later
"Have another piece."
"Honestly, I don't want one."
"Are you sure?" same confused look
"Yes, thank you."

2 minutes later
"Why don't you take one for later then. You might be hungry again soon."

Not wanting seconds is a concept not understood very well here, it would seem. My lovelies, you know who you are: your ability to eat seconds is much needed here!

Friday 25 June 2010

Old Croatian ladies are scary

So I headed south today to try and find the Croatian Heritage Centre. I am meeting the staff and other students there tomorrow night and wanted to work out where it was in advance.

I knew it was behind the train station somewhere but when I ran past the station this morning (hurrah, I know now where the station is!) I could not for the life of me see any way around it. Not without running across the tracks and this did not appeal. I asked my aunt (who is, incidentally, an absolute ray of sunshine) and she told me there was an underpass maybe 100 metres from the station. She told me then that it might be 100 metres, or more or less, but she doesn't really work in distances and did not actually know how far it was. I told her I don't work in distances either, so it wouldn't help even if she knew how many metres from the station it was. She told me to go through this underpass and after that would be a bus station, then Trg Stjepana Radica. The square with the Heritage Centre in it.

I found the underpass fairly easily, and it wasn't how I expected. I thought it might be dingy and covered in graffiti, but no. Bright sparkly lights, reminiscent of fairies, and posh shops. Including a Kras shop - yummy Croatian choccies. :-)

Anyway, I got to the other side and passed through the bus station and just could not see where this square might be. I spotted an old lady with shopping bags, so I stopped her. "Oprostite Gospoda." I thought this would be polite enough. I told her which square I was looking for. She told me to go back the way I had come and go through the underpass and it would be on my right. I knew this was not correct and told her it was on this side of the underpass. She looked at me as if I was five years old and told me to go straight on. She told me she could not walk as fast as me so I should go on ahead. I went ahead. I stopped to check my map and this fierce voice shouted from behind me "Ravno i desno!" Straight on and right. I was far too scared of her ferocity to stop walking so I walked as quickly as I could and then turned left before the underpass and hid from her until she'd passed, then I went back to where I'd found her.

I decided to walk a little further and suddenly, in front of me, was what I had been looking for all along. I'd just stopped too soon. I'd lost faith in myself. That scary woman had been standing in the square when I'd asked her where it was. Hm. Shan't be asking old ladies for directions anymore, that's for sure.

Adventure over so, having found my prize, I headed home, buying dark chocolate and hazelnuts on the way. Yummy.

Thursday 24 June 2010

...and

...the floor in the flat are so nicely polished that I keep falling over. Clearly not used to clean floors... At least it will be good for my core strength. Silver linings and all that.

Hrvatski

Everything is in Croatian - even my Google and blogger homepage. It seems I am being forced to learn. :-)

I arrived yesterday and it is beautiful. My beloved aunt, Teta Tugica, fed me massive amounts of food and seemed rather disappointed that I only had one portion of each of chicken soup with dumplings, beef stew and rice and tomato salad. Truly delicious, but I don't seem to have inherited the Croatian capacity for food (as perhaps my lovely sister has). I have eaten ALL the biscuits in my Mama's flat however. Piggy Ninki that I am. Well at least I have now effectively removed all temptation. :-)

I managed to find a supermarket yesterday too, where I obtained some rather yummy bread through use of Croatian and some soya milk - hurrah for world domination by Alpro!


Of course, last night, being my first night alone in a flat, I worried about the Daddy Long Legses crawling into my nose and eating my snot. Thank goodness for brothers however - my middle bro Stan did a bit of internetting and informed me that they are only in DLL format for two days (prior to this they are lavae-like) and that they don't eat during their DLL phase, so it would not eat my snot and would be dead within 48 hours anyway. Phew. I also worried mildly about ghosties and such stuff, but it seems they don't care about me here, so that was okay too. Maybe it was the garlic I ate.

Today I applied for a few jobs in the morning, though one was a bit of a long shot. I then visited my lovely Teta Tugica and chatted for a little, while watching a curious documentary about a guy who likes injecting himself with snake venom to see what it does. My cousin arrived with her son who had absolutely no idea who I was. This has happened a few times over the last month. Either I am becoming unmemorable or something very significant has happened to my appearance. Maybe I'm morphing into something else. Or maybe it's just the fringe. As with babies, maybe adults recognise people by their hairline.

This afternoon I went off for a walk. I think I might actually have gone mad if I hadn't gone outside. I wandered to the NE and SW of Zagreb centre and found some rather lovely parks and street side cafes and bars. Oh if only I had someone to amble with! I enjoyed it anyway and think I may have found a good running route. Must try it out tomorrow.

Well, that's me done for the day. I am ravenous and determined to sit down to a hearty polenta feast. Better get cooking, I guess.

Peace and love to you all. xxx

Wednesday 16 June 2010

The dance that I don't like

So it seems that job uncertainty is finally making a tiny move in my direction. It is dancing with me and I don't know which way it will take me next. I never was good at following.

I am off to Croatia on Wednesday and I want to know that I have a job in September. I won't starve, at least for a couple of months, but I don't like so much uncertainty in my life. I don't want to live in London anymore, I want to work part-time and I want a great salary. My boyfriend is in Reading so relatively close to there would be handy. Closer than Camden anyway, please (that was an hour and a half by the way, kind universe). I want to work with lovely people. These are my only requirements. Are they too much to ask, or will the universe, once again, deliver to me my needs?

I make a few moves of my own and I sit and wait to see what the next move of my partner will be.

Tuesday 8 June 2010

Hippiedom

Well I've spent the last few days down in Dorset at the Great British Kundalini Yoga Festival at the Osho Leela Centre in Gillingham. A perfectly beautiful and relaxing place to be. I've been busying myself with meditation, massage, gong baths, yoga, various workshops, dance and cleaning. Yes, cleaning. Toilets and showers, to be precise. They practice 'seva' - kind of like meditation through serving others and it was actually very good fun. Honestly.

I also got up for 5am sessions twice. Twice! I cannot quite believe I did this, but I did and very proud of myself I am too. I feel cleansed, detoxed, strong, powerful, calm and truly zenned-out. Definitely an option for next year and a wonderful space for kids. Bit too much emphasis on the Sikh aspects for me, but it's easy to avoid those once you know where they are to be found.

One thing I found particularly valuable out of the whole thing was something I heard in a women's workshop I attended. They gave the analogy of men being like the sun - they get up every day and go down every evening, the same always, day in, day out. Consistent, no change. Women however are like the moon - every single day of every single month we change, no consistency, no sameness. As a result we struggle to find a consistent sense of self, a sense of who we are, because we change so much. It is hard to find security and stability when we have none within our behaviour. We feel insecure, unsure of who we are. We tend to migrate to and fixate on men, to provide us with this security and stability we crave so much. We need to find the stability elsewhere however, because it is not healthy to rely on a man for this, or anyone for that matter - dependence in this way is not good. Activities such as meditation and yoga help us to find this core sense of self that is stable, underneath the hormones and other things that change us from day to day. The good thing about our daily metamorphosis however is that we can change: we are flexible. Spiritual and psychological evolution is easy for us because we are used to changing. Change in the world is easy for us to cope with and to facilitate and so, perhaps, it is our responsibility as women.

Of course, this is generalising, but it did seem to strike a chord with many of the women present. We do change. We are fickle. We are unpredictable. We are irrational. However, we are flexible and we bend with the winds of change that blow around us and so we are strong and powerful too. We do not break easily. We can cope with anything and everything that the universe throws in our path.