Changing your reality

Reality A:  I've been thinking that if we'd been home, we'd not have been burgled. If only we'd not been shopping, we'd have been home and he wouldn't have broken our door down. If our neighbours had been home, he couldn't have got in, because he'd have made too much noise. If only I'd left my laptop somewhere safer, it wouldn't have been taken. If my friend hadn't been here, she'd not have lost some of her things too. If only the police had come sooner. If only he'd put his bike in the garage.

Reality B:  If we'd come home earlier, it could have been so much worse. If I'd not backed up my laptop, I'd have lost so much. If my friend hadn't been here, I'd have been alone. If my man didn't have such good friends, I'd have been sitting in an unsecured home for longer; afraid and vulnerable. If our neighbours weren't so lovely, we'd have been cold and gone hungry that night, until the police finally arrived gone midnight. If the police had come sooner, maybe someone else would have been left out in the cold, alone, afraid or hurt. He will get a new bike. I will get a new laptop to replace the old one I had, lighter, sleeker, less likely to give me pain in my shoulders through its weight. She will get an improved version of what she lost. We will get a new door, making our home even safer. I lose two days of my work, but I also lose pain and I gain greater safety.

Why do we get so attached to belongings? They don't love us and hold us when we feel afraid or alone. They don't listen when we need to talk. They don't pick us up when our hearts and bodies are weary. They don't celebrate with us when we achieve something we've worked hard for.

It's easy to focus on the pain, the hurt and the anxiety in our lives; but it makes for a happier life to focus on the whole picture and to think of how much worse things could have been. It's about showing gratitude for what we have, rather than lamenting what we don't have. I don't know why all this happened, but I don't have to know. I can only trust that whatever happens, happens for a reason; and you can't change the facts anyway. The thing you can change is your reality.

Life teaches us good lessons in all sorts of bizarre and unexpected ways.