Introvert versus extravert

My brother sent me a link to an interesting article on the needs and definitions of extraverts and introverts. I am aware that such definitions seem to vary and change with popular psychological trend, or certainly have in the 15 years since I first heard the terms.

I always used to think I was an extravert, but of late I have been wondering if actually I'm a very sociable introvert. I used to love going out and dancing, but I've become aware that I loved most dancing on my own, big smile on my face, absorbed in the music, with friends around me that I did not have to interact with other than to smile, occasionally hug and very occasionally talk to. I also loved running and exercising with friends, where you have company but don't always need to chat. I prefer one-to-one more than groups, although sometimes I adore the group energy and am fascinated by the dynamics. I also prefer meeting in peaceful places, like cafes.

I've always disliked superficial chit chat and others around me are astounded at what personal and interesting information I manage to glean from those I meet. I am very sociable and confident with others, but I do not like too much stimulation. I also do not like company for company's sake. I am choosy about who I spend time with.

Sometimes I find background music physically and mentally stressful. The complexity of sound and background 'noise' feels too much to take in. I long to have silence, but when you share your space with someone who craves sound and noise, it can be hard to explain that you are 'actively listening to the silence'!  After a period of socialising I often feel tired. I crave down time and peace. I seek my own solitude. Once I come out of needing my own space, I am very open to contact, physical and mental, often much more so than others. Perhaps, more so than others who are less good at getting their own space and time-out or realising when they need it. This is something I have learned to be very good at, so that I can enjoy the social time that I love so very much.

I wonder now, looking back, whether we can change or move up and down this spectrum, or whether, when I was younger, I was simply less aware of my needs. Who knows? Whatever, it is an interesting issue and if it helps to raise awareness, tolerance and acceptance of difference, then I am all for the debate!