Ninki the school child

A man sitting behind me in this cafe asked if I was doing my homework on my laptop. "Great little things, aren't they?"

I indignantly replied that I was not doing my homework, that I was 35 years old and not a student. I felt awkward and uncomfortable, anxious about what he'd been reading over my shoulder and grateful I'd not been writing anything personal.

Now I feel sad. I had a sense that he was lonely, trying to make conversation. I rejected him. I feel sad because of the assumptions I made about him, wondering if he liked school children in an inappropriate way, though thinking about it now, maybe he'd be better able to tell the difference between a school child and a grown woman if he was that way inclined. I feel sad about the assumptions I made about him, because, now I am thinking about it, maybe he has a daughter the same age as me with whom he has limited contact and so instead he tried to contact me. I feel sad about feeling I needed to protect myself. I feel sad that he didn't know how to approach me without making me feel uncomfortable. I am reminded of others I know who struggle to connect and I feel sad for them too, because connection is such an important part of my own life.

It's so hard to genuinely meet with others sometimes and that makes me sad too. So much time wasted on missed connections and misunderstandings.