All day meditation

I did an all day meditation on Saturday - a White Tantra day. Having already experienced it once - about three years ago - and knowing it created a shift in my perception that allowed me to make necessary changes to the structure of my life, I felt a need to do it again. Even though it was an early start, I knew it would be worth it.

It was less intense physically than last time, but more curious an experience. One of the 'sets' was 31 minutes long and required constant up and down movement of our arms. We had to chant a mantra while we did this, to help us get through it. It's really odd, but I heard those sitting next to me saying 'quite hard' instead of the mantra. Half way through, this changed to 'higher, lower' (as my arms moved up and down), 'power', 'fight' and 'hope'. I checked (by peeking at the time and by asking them at the end) and they didn't deviate from the mantra at all. The power of the mind is amazing in how it can give you what you need - and in my case, at this time, it was encouragement.

The day afterwards I felt emotionally very volatile, but I was somewhat sleep deprived, having arisen at 6am (a whole two hours before a sensible waking time) and then completely failed to get an early night the following night. It may have been the meditation or it may have been the lack of sleep.

Since then I've been aware of something feeling different. I feel as if something has been rewired inside me. It's like there's a vast expanse of ocean inside me, cool, calm, beautiful. It's the same feeling, I guess, as I get when I'm sitting by the shore, listening to the waves crashing against the rocks - the same kind of peace. It's as if something has been expanded and stabilised inside me, though I'm not sure where. If I had to locate it, it would be somewhere in my core, perhaps near my solar plexus, with my body being like the most incredible tardis that ever existed.

As well as this feeling of space inside me - much needed and craved for space - my brain feels more peaceful. There is less chattering inside and so I feel as if I can see further. I can see further to the horizon, I can see more to the left and right. More makes sense to me. Less confuses me. Less of the trivial stuff seems to bother me.

I can't help wondering how I'd feel if I did this kind of meditation more regularly.