Unexpected occurrences

Last week was awful. My back seized up on Tuesday, thankfully minutes before the man was due to leave for work, and he had to take the next two days off work to look after me and the boy. It was awful. For a few days I couldn't walk or bend or lift anything (or anyone) and I felt terrible that I couldn't carry or cuddle my little boy - I couldn't do the one job that is mine, and mine alone. He became clingier than usual over night and seemed to want to sleep in the crook of my armpit all night all long - rather painful with a seized up back.

The strong anti-inflammatories and cocodomol, by the third day, did their job. So well, in fact, that I didn't notice that the heat patches I was wearing on my back had created a long string of blisters - two burst revealing raw weeping flesh beneath. I felt rather sorry for myself, but literally only for a moment, before the self-pity disappeared. Something changed in me last week. I like to think it wasn't just the drugs chilling me out, but I suddenly, out of nowhere, didn't see the point in being upset or stressed or cross.

Anyway, we were booked onto a yoga weekend, camping, with the boy's auntie and a good friend, and I was a bit gutted (again only momentarily) that I wouldn't be able to do any yoga.

We arrived later than we'd hoped, in baking sun, and soon realised that the camping set up wasn't going to work. One of the lovely organisers decided to assign us the best room in the house "just in case" so we moved up there after about an hour of faffing - me feeling we ought to camp anyway for a while, and finally accepting we should just do what was easiest.

That night we had the most enormous thunderstorm for over an hour, right overhead. No-one slept a wink, except my boy, just snuggling closer with the loudest claps.

The weekend was wonderful. My sister and friend helped lots with sling carrying/naptime and we were flexible about his routine. He ate well. He slept well (though his bedtime didn't work - too much noise and scared of the shower - and he fell asleep a few hours later than usual on both nights). He loved the group energy, the singing and the smiling faces around him. He loved the attention and charmed his way into the hearts of everyone. He loved investigating and exploring all the new people and their dreadlocks, their beards, their sparkly clothing, their sheepskin rugs...and the panelling and detail of the beautiful old house we were in. He crawled into the laps of strangers, looking up at their faces as they sang songs, and then moving on to the next person, pulling himself up to standing to tug at the arm or scarf of those around him. I felt so very proud of him and of myself for helping him to be so confident and self-assured, for helping him to feel comfortable in exploring his environment without fear.

He has also just learned about object permanence (knowing things are still there when they're hidden), cleverly removing blankets designed to cover electronics and digital equipment, minutes after I've hidden them. It seems that literally nothing is safe now, unless it's over a foot above him!

Anyway, our first experience of a yoga retreat was such a joy that it has given me confidence and a desire to do it again. The start of a new life for my little one. And thank you to his lovely auntie and my friend. :-)