Losing my Zen

Even four hours in a stretch would be good. And no 4.30am wake-up call. At least I got another hour after that, thanks to the wonderful man who helped to create this non-sleeper. 

I thought we had it cracked - started putting him to sleep at 6pm instead of 7pm and, for a while, instead of waking at 5.30am, he was waking at 6.30am. He was getting over 12 hours sleep a night (not including his 3 or 4 night feedings). Now we're back to around 10 hours a night...but because of his earlier sleep time, unfortunately his wake time is also earlier. 

Anyway, he is super cranky, not surprisingly, has shadows under his eyes and is now on his second nap of the morning - the first being just half an hour and coinciding with my porridge at 7am.

I'm tired. Lack of sleep seeds doubts in my mind about all sort of things and makes me weepy. I don't want pity or sympathy, I just want positivity around me. I don't want focus (or indeed any comments) on this lack of sleep thing as it makes me focus on it (unless you're in the same position as me and need to share). I just want positive people around me as then your positivity infuses my soul and gives me succour. That is, unless you have a miraculous remedy or tactic (that doesn't involve Valium or soundproof rooms)...then you can talk to me about sleep (or lack of it). :-)

NHS advice

It appears there is a typo in my previous post Forbidden fruits.

Obviously the NHS is not advising that babies don't eat Merlin, thought I imagine he would have had something to say about that himself and I also imagine he might be a bit tough for babies.

To correct my previous comment, the NHS is advising babies don't eat MARLIN.

*blush*

Violence against women is a men's issue

Just watched a powerful video that carries an important message. This is truth and it is really important to watch this. I was going to say "important for other counsellors" but actually, important for all women - all mothers of sons, all mothers of daughters - and ALL men.

"Domestic violence and sexual abuse are often called 'women’s issues', but in this bold, blunt talk, Jackson Katz points out that these are intrinsically men's issues — and shows how these violent behaviours are tied to definitions of manhood. A clarion call for us all — women and men — to call out unacceptable behavior and be leaders of change."

Violence against women is a men's issue

Forbidden fruits

Well it turns out that no fruits are forbidden to my son. I thought they were, but the recommendation now stands that from six months old, babies are allowed berries, including strawberries and blueberries. As long as they're cut up small. And there are no berry allergies in the family. Also, some research shows that strawberries and blueberries in particular contain high levels of pesticides (if non-organic), so probably best to get organic berries. Yum.

So anyway, while I was at it, I thought I'd do a proper check and the NHS recommends not giving your baby:

* Things high in unsaturated fat such as crisps, cheap burgers and cakes
* Raw shellfish
* Raw eggs
* Shark, swordfish or merlin

Hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing. As if I would give my baby these things anyway!



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Full information from NHS as of 27 May 2014

SALT

Babies shouldn’t eat much salt as it isn't good for their kidneys. Don't add salt to your baby’s food and don't use stock cubes or gravy as they're often high in salt. Remember this when you’re cooking for the family if you plan to give the same food to your baby.

SUGAR

Your baby doesn’t need sugar. By avoiding sugary snacks and drinks, you'll help to prevent tooth decay. Use mashed banana, breast milk or formula milk to sweeten food if necessary.

HONEY

Occasionally, honey contains bacteria which can produce toxins in a baby’s intestines, leading to infant botulism, which is a very serious illness. It’s best not to give your child honey until they’re one year old. Honey is a sugar, so avoiding it will also help to prevent tooth decay.

NUTS

Whole nuts, including peanuts, shouldn't be given to children under five as they can choke on them. As long as there's no history of food allergies or other allergies in your family you can give your baby peanuts once they're six months old as long as they're crushed or ground into peanut butter.

LOW FAT FOODS

Fat is an important source of calories and some vitamins for babies and young children. It’s better for babies and young children under two to have full-fat milk, yoghurt and cheese rather than low-fat varieties.

SATURATED FATS

Don't give your child too many foods that are high in saturated or 'bad' fat, such as crisps, chips, cheap burgers and cakes.

SHARK, SWORDFISH OR MARLIN

Don't give your baby shark, swordfish or marlin. The amount of mercury in these fish can affect a baby’s growing nervous system.

RAW SHELLFISH

Raw shellfish can increase the risk of food poisoning so it’s best not to give it to babies.

RAW AND UNDERCOOKED EGGS

Eggs can be given to babies over six months old, but make sure they're cooked until both the white and yolk are solid.

Small pleasures

Played with the boy in the bedroom after lunch and by 'playing' I mean I could barely keep my eyes open, so I let him play quietly on his own while I lay next to him. He was quite happy and I was peaceful. After about half an hour, he started squawking, so I fed him lying down and we both fell asleep. First time in ages he's napped without having to be in the sling.

I had a lovely half hour snooze and feel much better. He's now been down almost two hours, which is what he used to do a few months ago when I considered him a reasonable sleeper. Yay for his old sleeping habits returned.

It is amazing how 'myself' returns to me with even just a short break. I don't quite have the freedom to do what I want - I can't leave the house or make loud noises (which I do so love doing!) - but I can potter quietly, do the washing, do the dishes, do a spot of writing. I feel like an independent me again, as opposed to the mother of my son, the person who became part of another person eight months plus womb-time ago.

Now, if only the sun were shining...

Big steps

Last night the boy barely slept, so I sent the man into the spare room until 4am for some good rest, at which point I swapped with him and got about three hours solid sleep myself.

This morning, the boy woke a hugely advanced little boy. He is now crawling rapidly all over the place, with such delight on his little face as he can get around and see what's going on ALL THE TIME without having to wait for one of us to find him squawking, stuck in a corner somewhere, and pick him up. He's also pulling himself up to grab things off higher surfaces, so his world has now expanded into 3D - he's incredibly excited about this. He had his first visitor (with his new skills) and - once he'd ascertained the visitor was safe - he crawled into his lap and flapped his arms at the visitor's legs, with obvious delight at this ability.

I am excited, yes, but I am also tired. I have moved the bin and hidden it; I have moved many items of furniture to hide various things he shouldn't get into; I have moved things from half a foot off the ground to one foot off the ground (and know they will all soon be moving higher, when I have a chance to find new homes for these things). I have rescued him from crawling on concrete (and hurting his little feet) and I have tidied the garden. I know I will soon find him eating my herbs (ok) and soil (less ok). I find myself worrying how I will cope on my own with my normal days, without tying him to a chair leg or sticking him in some sort of cage. I am also slightly concerned for my olive tree and wonder if it will soon need a new spot.

With his huge leap in movement he seems to have got hungrier. Today he has demolished a few spoons of porridge, baby sweetcorn, courgette, tomatoes, carrots, orange slices and mushrooms...and played with spaghetti. He didn't seem too keen on my cheese and courgette muffins however. That'll teach me to make something special for him! At least his daddy enjoyed the chocolate brownies I made. :-)

I'm hoping the extra food and movement (as well as his swimming session today) will have worn him out and have an impact on his sleep too, but we shall see. He was fast asleep by 5.50pm, a new record for him, so fingers crossed. I shall report back very soon!

My morning so far

Massive poo that covered the liner, two boosters and both inserts, as well as the nappy itself (thankfully before I take him swimming) and real evidence that he's actually eating the food he plays with...followed by getting stuck under the armchair (and wailing) while I was cleaning poo off the nappy and its parts, then bashing his head with a colander while I attempted to make breakfast.

A very tiring morning already - and this is after a night in which he woke for an hour to finally fall asleep face down in the puke he coughed up microseconds before laying his head down to rest...necessitating removal of sleeping child and change of bed.

Still, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, baby is asleep on my back and I've actually drunk a whole cup of tea - heated up only once - and it's not even 10am - and I've cleaned the dining room and kitchen.

Time for a half hour break before swimming and possibly a second cuppa. :-)

Look!

Strawberries!!

Breastfeeding

Once when I was in Waitrose, a helpful lady apologetically suggested I feed the boy sitting on the loo, as there was nowhere else to sit. To her credit, she agreed, once I'd asked, that I could feed him in the office next to the pharmacy. Part of the problem is that businesses don't all have dedicated spaces and individuals just don't think. It's not all intentional - it's just lack of thought, understanding or awareness. This is why we need to raise awareness and to help people to understand the reality and issues with trying to feed a baby. I have to say that most businesses I've been in have been fantastic (including Waitrose, once I'd made the suggestion), but it would be great for companies to have a policy on breastfeeding and to have given it some thought.

Anyway, these thoughts were prompted by this ad:

When nature calls

Movement

He just crawled forwards! The incentive? A part from the hairdryer!

He's been crawling backwards for weeks, but forwards is a new direction and hopefully will help him become far less frustrated. :-)