Disconnected

I've been prompted to write by an article I just read called I miss the village.

At university I lived in shared houses - first a flat in halls, with seven other girls, with boys in the flats above and below, and we wandered into each others' homes and rooms as if they were our homes too.

In my 10 years in London, I chose to live in house share. Sometimes with one other, the most with five others, and all of these homes I loved. There were challenges as we disagreed on rules, none of the rules discussed in advance, and it worked best in those homes where things could be talked about and agreed and changed...it worked best where we had a cleaner, especially in those homes where disagreements couldn't be discussed (because the English love to avoid conflict). Despite the challenges and arguments, it never occurred to me to live alone. I don't remember ever being alone as a child, except when I was unhappy. All my happy memories are full of other people, often too many in a small space. My energy comes through being with others, though, of course, as is normal, I sometimes crave my own space and need some time out, alone, to just breathe...

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But, I find I breathe best and most deeply and most clearly with the support of friends, with love in the room next to mine, with a cup of tea waiting for me on the table that I did not have to make myself, where I can do all the cleaning and cooking and tidying when I have the energy and you do not...where someone else can give me a hug and tell me to lie down and sleep when I'm not able to make this judgement for myself.

I work best in a community. I am happiest in company. I enjoy the flow of group energy, where everyone pitches in and deals with what needs to be dealt with, working as one, like the all the toes on a foot, taking the weight when it's turn comes.

I long to live with other families, not alone, though I do adore my own small family too. It's not a sign of not appreciating what I have and not wanting what I have. It's a sign of knowing I'd be happier with something slightly different.

I hope, maybe, one day, we will live in a co-housing space...or maybe, even better, one day, we can find land and build homes with those we love...but we shall see...time will tell.