Last night we had rain and thunder, the electricity waking me up and giving me back my energy. Yesterday ended up being one of the most enjoyable days for ages, as well as one of the most random, with some of the most uncomfortable encounters for a while (on which I shall not expand).
I woke up so tired having got to bed for 4am, but it was a night well spent (in the main) with people whose company I very much enjoy. I tried to sleep but a morning-Mama that potters makes for a sleepy Ninki, invariably. Some of us cannot sleep in the afternoon for hours at a time, not having yet transmogrified into doormice. Sadly. Maybe one day. When I am 70 years old too.
I think I have the beginnings of heartbreak. If I can use this word in that context. I have fallen in love more deeply with Croatia and got to know a part of me I hadn't really properly met before. I don't think I am quite ready to leave, but I know that this part will always be inside me now. I'll be back. Anyway, I have a few more days left of so much study and learning that maybe if I try hard enough I'll be ready to leave in five days. Especially if I spend more time with the people whose company I enjoy less...
I just discovered my certificate from that course I did at Zagreb uni way back in 2002. I got a 5 - top marks. Yes. After spending a month by myself relearning my mother tongue, a part of me was remade which only illness was able to keep me from attending to. If I lived in Croatia, I would be whole again. As it is, I will always be in pieces.
ReplyDeleteClever you! It's good you had the experience of being there. I don't believe you won't be whole - being there would help, but you have found the bit that needs reintegrating - it's harder from a different country, but it's still possible. Love you. xxx
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