Saturday 28 May 2011

A week ago

Well, a whole week has gone by since I last blogged and I wonder what I did with that week. It feels like not much, except sleeping an awful lot, but when I stop and think, I have achieved things.

I finished the first edit of my book (having completed it a few weeks ago), and know that there is one section that needs a redraft. I feel it coming to a close and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I thought it would feel great, but actually I feel I'm going to have to say goodbye to a friend and leave her world, which makes me rather sad. Most unexpected.

I've got the go-ahead to take on more clients, which is fabulous and means I will (fingers crossed) be able to submit my case study in autumn and hopefully graduate in February, but we shall see. Who knows what the future holds? I know I certainly don't and for some reason my future is feeling vaguer than usual. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely a curious thing.

There are a gazillion things I want to do today, but more than them, I just want to sleep. Maybe I'll go and have a mid morning snooze before getting outside and into town, to meet my friend...

Saturday 21 May 2011

Amusement


Made me chuckle and I wanted to make you chuckle too. :-)

(Apparently it's by Gathered Images)

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Immortality

My intention in going to see her was to accept that she was dying and to say goodbye, but I find that I can't.

She wants to keep living and where there's life, or a desire for life, there's hope. First there's that, this indestructible hope of mine. I've always been this way and I don't think anything will change that. Where love is involved I hold fast until I'm certain that there's no way back.

Secondly, her inner strength gave me greater strength. She's a teacher through and through, by trade and by nature. I saw her ability to laugh through pain, to chuckle as if we were sitting in a cafe watching the world go by, commenting that she needs to watch her waistline and this is why she only ate three strawberries in one day. We joked about the benefits to a lady's complexion of lying in bed for days and weeks on end, how it irons out all the wrinkles and turns back the hands of time.

I saw her transform in front of my eyes from a sick old lady, to a young giggling girl, whose eyes sparkled with life and whose wicked sense of humour made us all laugh. All this through receiving love and knowing she's loved. Although I haven't achieved what I set out to achieve, I've been given something worth so much more. We're all going to die one day and we have no idea when that day will come, regardless of how sick or not we might be. The only thing we can do is to accept that our days are numbered and to fill them with as much love as we can.

I have felt, a number of times over the last day and a half, seeing her transformed for flickering moments and even for minutes at a time, that I've discovered the secret to immortality and it's absurdly simple: love.

I don't know what will happen in the next few days or even tomorrow, but yesterday she said to me, "I will survive. I have decided." Then she paused and said, "At least tonight, anyway." I went in this morning, early, to kiss her goodbye and I left saying I would see her soon, because I have a very strange sense of knowing that I will. I don't have any answers, but I feel as if I know something very precious that I didn't know before, so all I can say for sure is that everything's always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Thursday 12 May 2011

Too lazy to click on links

I came across a fascinating article (courtesy of a good friend in Hong Kong) about the internet and how it will start to be used not for information seeking or publicising, but for networking, connecting, building relationships and knowing where the rest of the 'pack' is, isolation of entertainment being something new to the last century and interaction being our natural state for entertainment activity. It was written in 1999.

There's a lovely little definition of 'technology' as something that doesn't quite work yet. For example, chairs are no longer seen as technology, because they now work very well - they have the right number of legs, centres of gravity etc, so that they no longer 'crash' when we use them. Once things work, they become part of the background and are no longer technology. Very good point, I thought.

The article is called How to stop worrying and learn to love the internet. I need this lesson, I know I do, but I also know that some of you don't like links. I strongly suggest you change this habit and start clicking. The future is in the internet.

Wednesday 11 May 2011

How meaning deepens with age...

....or perhaps how meaning deepens with experience rather than age.

At the prompting of my brother I've been listening to some Beautiful South songs. The last time I listened to them (in my early 20s) I loved them and sang along, but they didn't have the depth of meaning to me then, they didn't create the same depth of emotion within me then, as they do now. It's true, the depth of life carved into you, creates a deeper well of sorrow, joy and perhaps all other emotions too that you can draw from and use to relate to others. Two songs especially struck at the chords of my heart sharply and sweetly.

Prettiest eyes
I'll sail this ship alone

Thought I'd share. :-)

Sunday 8 May 2011

Dying to play in the sunshine

I keep dreaming about my aunt who is very sick. Last night I dreamed about her again, she was in almost every dream, but the one I remembered fully was her coming to see me and she said to me

"death is like taking off your coat so you can go and play in the sunshine"

and when I woke up I thought that conception is the moment your parents start to knit your coat so you can play in the rain and the snow and the cold, and death is when you take it off again so you can play in the sunshine.

Friday 6 May 2011

Goat adoption

Presumably because I tweeted that I wanted a Nigerian dwarf goat, Adopt a Goat is now following me. They do multiple tweets and they clearly don't proof their tweets, having tweeted around 10 times 'adopy a goat'. That irritates me mildly. I shan't be following them. Plus which, they seem to be based in Australia and I'm not sure I'd condone shipping a goat that far...though it may buy me some time to purchase a house with garden...

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Our right to choose - herbal medicine

This is being posted on behalf of my sister. Please click on the link and sign the petition.

-

Dear friend and supporter of natural medicine,

Thanks to your action, we have already gathered no less than 1,284,269 signatures to our petition against the new European THMPD (Traditionnal Herbal Medicinal Product Directive), and in support of the legislative action being undertaken by the Alliance for Natural Health. This is a success of historical significance.

Sunday, the 1st of May 2011, at 12 o'clock GMT, we had:
  • 954,145 signatures to our petition in French;
  • 233,113 to our petition in English;
  • 97,011 to our petition in German.
Furthermore, the powerful citizen network action group Avaaz, just launched a huge effort similar to ours, calling the European Commission and EU Governments « to amend the THMPD Directive, suspending the draconian measures against herbal medicines and removing all barriers to traditional remedies with a long history of use inside and outside Europe. »

« We have a right to choose among all remedies and medicines that can keep ourselves and our families healthy », say Avaaz members, echoing our call to the European Authorities. Avaaz has already gathered 469,000 signatures, making it a very significant participant to the movement against the THMPD.

There is no doubt that the size and strength of the movement we have created is going to force the European Union to back down on its outrageous attempt to limit our rights and freedom to choose natural medicine and remedies.

Augustin de Livois and our team in Brussels and Paris are presently taking steps to meet representatives and decision-makers. We will soon be able to announce what kind of concrete changes we managed to reach. In the meantime, you can keep asking your friends to connect on www.savenaturalhealth.eu to get more signatures.

Thank you very much for your support.

To your good health,

The League for Natural Medicine

Dwarf goats

Nigerian dwarf goats should ideally be 17-19 inches high (though what you do if they grow a bit taller or are stunted, I'm not sure). They're very friendly and make ideal pets and great 'visitor' animals in nursing homes and hospitals. I want one. They have blue eyes too, so it might be just like looking in a mirror. Or maybe when I'm old and have a beard.

I'd have to get a girl one maybe, because apparently the boy ones smell bad, unless they've had certain smelly parts of their anatomy removed. Of course.

I am reminded of my last visit to Kentish Town City Farm, where a very friendly and affectionate male goat rubbed his head against my coat. As I left, I could still smell the pungent scent of strong goat's cheese that he'd exuded, and it didn't take me long to figure out the source. Me. I smelled of goat's cheese. I think I'd been dating my boyfriend only two months or so by that point, but thankfully he was hugely amused and (apparently) not put off...once I'd taken all my clothes off and put them into the washing machine, that is!

I don't want a boy Nigerian dwarf goat.

Obama sin Laden

Is the name that comes to mind when I think about it all, and technically it's true.

Tuesday 3 May 2011

We know who I'm talking about

I've been seeing so many updates and tweets rejoicing in his death and I get it, I really do, but for some reason it's been making me feel very uncomfortable. Not just the updates, but mentioning his name and the whole affair from start to finish makes me feel a very high level of discomfort. It wasn't until I saw a quote that a friend had posted, that I suddenly understood my discomfort. I fully resonate with these words and so wanted to share them with you. Hate and revenge never bring peace.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Please note that this quote has been widely circulated in recent days, though the original author is uncertain.