Well. So I had my first 'night out' last night. It's not the first evening I've done stuff, but it's the first evening I went out in Lan Kwai Fong.
Firstly I walked the beautiful and pleasant 25 minute route to the bar, which shocked and surprised everyone. Apparently it is perceived as we might perceive walking from Oxford to London for a night out. I enjoyed it. It was only 25 minutes...
I had a good evening and met some very interesting people, but as the night progressed, the very drunken ramblings seemed to switch, in a bipolar fashion, between an adamant desire to 'fuck it all and just have fun' and an equally adamant desire (usually more quickly banished) for something that had more meaning.
I have come across this on many occasions, but it somehow feels magnified here in Hong Kong. It confuses me. It people want to have fun, then they can and that's fine; but if they want more than that, or perhaps something different to that, I don't understand what is stopping them. Is it because they don't really want to change anything, or is it fear of what change might actually mean? In order to open a door, you often need to close doors behind you. You have to let go of stuff in order to create space for new things.
I enjoyed listening to people and learning about them. I was curious about their lifestyles, so different to mine, but I had no desire to change my life for theirs. I am not sure what they thought about me. I felt a little judged on a number of occasions. For not drinking, happy as I was to not be drinking. For wanting to write for the sake of writing, rather than for money. I was informed that I am selfish for wanting to do this, randomly and out of the blue. I was completely baffled and amused by this comment and tried to get clarity on what the speaker meant, but I think the booze had taken too great a hold (of them, not me). It's like saying you're selfish because you want a cup of tea. I write because I want to write. I breathe because I want to breathe. The sunshine is warm because it is made of fire. Isn't it? Is it selfish to do what you need to do? Perhaps.
I chose to walk home and the peace and solitude of my walk felt good.
Pedantry alert!
ReplyDeleteYou breathe because you need to breathe.
You can stop yourself breathing only by using external devices that intervene and disrupt the natural way the body reacts.
For instance you cannot smother yourself with a pillow as at some point you will slip into a semi-concious state and no longer be able to command your body to hold the pillow over your head/your head in the pillow.
Drinking or not drinking a cup of tea, on the other hand, is very much a voluntary action.
Haha! Thanks for the reality check Stan. Most welcomed. :-) xx
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